Funnel Fun

Funnel Fun, Clown Skits and sketches

This is a series of more or less traditional clown skits for two performers that I have often used. They are good to put into different points in a show to create a "Running Gag", where a similar, but oddly different sketch keeps appearing. There is lots of scope for character work and improvisation here, - I will just show the basic moves and more or less leave you to add your own personality.

Part 1

Billy is wandering around, Molly approaches...

Molly Hi Billy, do you wanna make a bet?
Billy Maybe, what about?
Molly Well, I bet you can't do this..

Molly takes a funnel and tucks it into the belt of her trousers so the funnel part is up. She then balances a coin on her forehead and carefully tips her head forward until it drops into the funnel.


Molly There! If you can balance this pound coin on your forehead and drop it into the funnel like that, you can keep the coin!
Billy Wow, I'm sure I can do that.

Billy takes the funnel and tucks it into the top of his trousers. Then, he tips his head well back and carefully balances the coin on his forehead. While he is doing this, Molly gets a jug of water, creeps up on him, and tips the whole lot down his trousers...

Billy Yeooowww!!! What was that??

Billy jumps around soaking wet and probably really cold and fairly mad too... No doubt the coin has shot away somewhere, and Molly quietly picks it up and pockets it.


Molly Wow, that was a good joke, wasn't it? I bet you think that was funny.
Billy AAArgh!! (Chases Molly off.)

Part 2

Again, Molly comes up to Billy. Again, she has a funnel, but this time, openly carrying the jug of water.


Billy Hey, I'm not falling for that one again, I'm still damp from the last time.
Molly No, no. I was just going to show you the new Magic Trick I've learnt. Still, if you'r still mad at me, you probably don't want to see it..

Billy OOh, magic! I love magic, won't you show me pleeeeaaase?
Molly OK, watch this. I place the funnel in the top of my trousers like this (Sticks funnel in trousers again). Now I just say the magic word... "Porridge and Chips", and pour the water into the funnel like this.

Billy is beside himself with excitement and jumps up and down expecting her to get a good soaking, but somehow, the water goes into the funnel and just disappears. Molly takes the funnel out, shakes it, and takes an enormous bow.

Billy Wow, that was cool, do you think I could do that?
Molly Of course, it's really easy, here -

She gives him the funnel and jug.


Billy Right. So I put the funnel in here?
Molly That's right
Billy And now I say the Magic Word... "Porridge and Chips", and just pour the water in here?
Molly (excitedly) Yes yes, pour the water in now!

Billy looks into the funnel dubiously, and hesitates a few times with the jug. Finally he takes the funnel out, and turns to Molly

Billy Look, I wasn't watching properly when you did it before, I think I might have missed out on the secret. Will you show me again?
Molly Oh, Alright. You just put the funnel in like this and pour the water in -
Billy Hang on, can I do that bit?
Molly OK, OK, just pour the water in the funnel

Billy does so, with a look af delight, but is rather crestfallen when Molly stays completely dry.
Molly There! Now you do it!

Billy puts the funnel in again, says the magic word, and once more, hesitates. Molly grabs the jug and quickly pours all the water in. Of course he gets soaking wet, and jumps around in agony. After a minute of this, Molly says -


Molly Hey Billy, do you want to know the secret?
Billy Yes, yes, YES!
Molly You need the special ingredient.

She takes a rubber hot water bottle out of her trousers where it was tied around her waist to collect the water... Billy screams at her for cheating and chases her off again.

Part 3

Billy comes on and finds Molly. He is carrying a funnel.


Billy Hi Molly, wanna give me a chance to win that pound coin again?
Molly (Grins) Sure.
Billy OK, just show me how it goes again.
Molly Right.

She put the funnel in, balances the coin. Billy produces the water, pours it in the funnel, but of course Molly doesn't get wet as she still has the water bottle fixed up. Billy looks diappointed.


Molly Right. Your turn now.
Billy OK. Here we go...

He puts the funnel in, balances the coin, and of course, Molly pours water in the funnel. This time he does not get wet!. Remaining calm and concentrated, he drops the coin in the funnel, and picks it out in triumph. Molly's jaw drops as he lifts his foot a little off the ground and we can all see the last of the water draining through a piece of garden hose he has fixed which runs from his waistband down to the ground.


Molly Hey, Thats my Pound!
Billy Not any more!

Off they go, Molly chasing Billy this time.

Isn't it funny how much Clowns seem to enjoy playing with water? I'll try and think of a dry skit next time for those winter shows


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